"I almost called 9-1-1!"

This morning (Sunday) my boyfriend and I woke up early (8am) and we watched an episode of LOST, which we are watching from beginning to end - I've seen it but my boyfriend hasn't. We turned the volume way down from how we normally watch it, and I heard her snore about halfway through the episode, so I knew she was still sleeping. Her phone rang about 3/4ths of the way through the episode(it was her best friend), which I knew would definitely wake her up, and then I didn't worry about waking her up anymore.

She told me that she woke up to a man yelling "Don't open this door!" and almost called 9-1-1 because she thought it was us yelling at someone outside. I'm honestly so done, I just asked her why she didn't call. She told me it was because she wanted to check on things first (good thought!) and went on to tell me that the phone rang at 5am (nope, 8:45, 5 minutes before you yelled at us to turn it down a little more) and woke her up as well.

With all the noise she makes after we try to go to bed, I really just don't care anymore that we've irritated her...we'll see what happens later today, since I'll be home all day.

"Quick! Take off your clothes!"

My roommate dislikes my mother. At least this is what i think from the way she acts when my mother comes over to the house, giving reasons why she needs to leave, rushing around and then out the door, etc. This is an issue, because my mother is also our landlord.
My roommate tends to fall on the passive-aggressive side, and likes to plot against people who don't even know they're the enemy. At one point, she came up with the idea that maybe if someone was naked when my mother came over, my mother would learn to at least call ahead before she showed up. She then volunteered that my boyfriend be the naked one, which gave us all a laugh (at first). We didn't think she was serious. Now, whenever my mother shows up, my roommate yells for my boyfriend to "Quick! Take off your clothes! Hurry!" and really expects him to do so.

She only quit after I told her it wasn't very appropriate for someone to order someone to strip naked, and perhaps she should try "using her words" to ask my mother to notify her before coming over. Did I mention she's over 10 years my senior?

"The Cat is no longer embarrassed..."

Things that cannot be explained:
My roommate mentioned to me yesterday (when I said nothing to start this conversation) that her cat was completely mortified that it had pooped. I wasn't quite sure what she meant by that, but she soon followed it up with, "The cat is no longer embarrassed that she pooped and she is coming to greet you."

Oh Hecksters No!

Welcome to my new blog! Dedicated to weird and random things said by people I know. I'm going to start with the title of the blog, which is a phrase often said by my roommate. She of course means "Hell No" but she doesn't think she should swear (although she often does) so this is what she'll say instead. She will probably be the focus of this blog, as the things she says are completely weird and random quite often. She is the type of person who is constantly running commentary, much to my irritation. Am I just the kind of person who is irritated easily? Or is a roommate having to comment on absolutely everything an issue that would irritate you as well? Find out in the blogs to follow...